


Teikou Quality Life Assurance Co.

by inverse



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3228050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inverse/pseuds/inverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Us, Your Future Is Ever-Victorious. Call 1900-111-TEIKOU To Speak With Our Dedicated Consultants Today.</p><p>(Or, Midorima's insurance agent pisses him off. He asks for a new one.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teikou Quality Life Assurance Co.

"So are you interested in buying this or not?" the salesman scowled.

"I'm still not satisfied with the rate of return," Midorima told him, adjusting his glasses. No matter how he looked at the terms, he was not convinced that two million yen was the appropriate amount of money that was to be returned by the time the policy matured, in ten years' time, on top of the premium paid, which was to be a full seven million yen. "I suggest that we meet again once you can formulate a policy that meets my needs."

The insurance salesman's name was Aomine. Midorima was not sure how Aomine wound up becoming an insurance agent. Aomine was brash and rude and his hair and clothes were always untidy, which was hardly appropriate for someone in his line of work.

Truth be told, he was not sure why they were still talking. This was their third meeting in a month and nothing Aomine had said over all three meetings was persuasive enough to make Midorima sign on the dotted line.

"You are one tough nut to crack," Aomine mumbled under his breath as he shuffled the papers back into his briefcase. His voice was very soft and almost went unheard because they were in a bustling cafe, but Midorima had good ears.

"Excuse me," he said accusingly. "Did you just say, 'You are one tough nut to crack' in reference to my person? Do you know that I can call up your office and have your service terminated at any time?"

Aomine's face was caught between hilarity, embarrassment, and what Midorima thought looked like exasperation, though he did not know what was so funny about the situation. There was absolutely nothing funny about getting your employment terminated. It was a complicated mix of emotions and Aomine's face did not have the requisite range to portray it.

He looked, Midorima thought, like an idiot, which was fitting, because he usually behaved like one.

"I cordially apologize," said Aomine begrudgingly. The sarcasm was not lost on Midorima. He went home displeased.

The next morning he called the insurance company to file a complaint about Aomine, and to request that he get a new insurance agent. He called first thing in the morning because it was too late to do so when he got home the previous evening.

**$$$$$**

Midorima's new insurance agent contacted him three days later.

"Good morning!" exclaimed the cheery voice. "Is this Midorima Shintarou-san?"

"Yes, it is," answered Midorima. "Who is this?"

"This is Kise Ryouta, calling from Teikou Life Insurance," replied the caller. "Would it be okay if I took up five minutes of your time?"

Midorima left his desk and moved to the staff lounge on the sixth floor.

"I understood from my colleague Momoi that you requested a new consultant," said the person named Kise brightly. "I have been appointed to provide you with all the information that you might need about our company’s products. It is great to finally talk to you!"

Kise sounded far too chirpy to deal with something as serious as life insurance, which made Midorima suspicious and mistrustful. Midorima could not detest his enthusiasm, however. Aomine often spoke as if he would rather be anywhere else than speaking to Midorima. An attitude like that was truly unacceptable.

"Yes," Midorima confirmed. "I was in the process of purchasing a policy from one of your colleagues. I believe his name was Aomine. I hope that he is now your ex-colleague, after I filed my complaint. His behavior and demeanor towards me was thoroughly unprofessional and unbecoming. I have yet to receive a formal response from your company regarding this matter. And I expected my new agent to contact me the day after. Overall, I have to say that the service standards at Teikou are appalling."

"I'm very sorry about your experience, and I'm very sorry for calling you only now," Kise chuckled weakly. "Is there anything that I can do for you regarding this matter?"

"I want an official apology from your company about how negligent and disrespectful they have been towards a customer such as myself," Midorima said.

"That…that can be arranged," said Kise quickly. "In the meantime, Midorima-san-- I have received your file, and I've noticed that you were interested in purchasing a Career Acceleration Plan Plus. Would you like to meet me to discuss further details?"

"I am a very busy person and I have already wasted enough time discussing this policy with your exceptionally incompetent co-worker."

"I would be very happy to match your schedule," followed Kise eagerly, as if he was petrified at the prospect of losing Midorima's business.

**%%%%%**

Kise was very attractive. He was tall and he had a face that was more than good enough to appear on television, though he was perhaps an inch or two shorter than Midorima himself. This was a problem because Midorima could not pay full attention to what he was saying about the policy. Midorima noticed some female patrons in the restaurant turning to look their way occasionally.

This was Teikou's dirty, underhanded tactic, wasn't it? They knew they'd screwed up, so they sent someone like Kise to distract Midorima from the matter at hand. Midorima would not deign to be taken in so easily by something like mere appearances.

"Midorimachii-- is it okay if I call you Midorimachii? I don’t really like to treat my clients like clients. I like to treat them like my friends," Kise said when they met.

Midorima had hardly expected him to be good-looking, because Aomine was not, and it did not make sense for somebody as good-looking as Kise to be catering to a young salaryman like Midorima, who had little in the way of capital. Somebody like Kise should be catering to rich middle-aged female executives who were willing to invest time and money on him.

He made a mental note of Kise's lone earring and silently disapproved.

Midorima also thought that it was highly improper for an insurance agent to be giving their client a nickname moments after they had both just shaken hands and introduced themselves. He did not want to be "friends" with his insurance agent. So he said no.

His opinion did not matter anyway.

"See, Midorimachii," Kise said, painstakingly underlining the important figures on the document with an uneven hand as their coffee got colder and colder. "I think we can agree to adjust the amount of premium paid, according to how your disposable income might vary in the next five to ten years. I believe this also encourages you to work towards maintaining a steady rate of salary growth as your career progresses over the next decade. Right? Midorimachii?"

"Please stop calling me Midorimachii," said Midorima. It made him feel like he was a high schooler again and reminded him of his teenage insecurity.

"I'm sorry. It's a habit," Kise said, giving him a nervous grin. Midorima blinked. "So what do you think, Midorimach-- Midorima-san?"

Midorima squinted myopically at the contract that Kise had prepared. He could tell that Kise put a bit of effort into customizing this policy, unlike Aomine, whom Midorima knew just copied the sample policies word for word. Sometimes Aomine didn’t even bother changing the numerical figures.

"Let me think about it for a few days," he said.

**$$$$$**

Midorima gave himself a week to actually evaluate what Kise had proposed to him, and to distance the substance of the policy from Kise’s salesmanship.

There were two alternative policies to consider.

The first one was a very ordinary plan where Midorima could opt to insure himself for a sum of his own choosing, or to pay the full sum in monthly premiums. Upon maturation of the policy, he could choose to either surrender or renew it for another term of ten years.

The second one was a little more complicated. The monthly premium was pegged to Midorima’s monthly salary and was fixed at a certain percentage of it. The rate of return was divided into four tiers, depending on the amount of premium Midorima was to pay. As the premium increased into the next higher tier, the rate of return increased slightly, but exponentially. There would be no penalty even if the premium paid remained in the lowest tier for the whole duration that the policy was in effect.

It looked like it was going to be expensive to maintain, but the returns were very worthwhile if Midorima worked hard to ensure steady salary growth for the next ten years of his career, and it was much safer investing some part of his savings with a government-backed insurance company than it was investing all of it in equities and hedge funds.

There were some minor errors in the calculations. Midorima took the initiative to do the math himself. The final figures differed, but not significantly. He would have to make the corrections and inform Kise when they next met. It did not seem like Kise was any good with numbers, but Midorima could tell that he tried.

"You made several mistakes in your first draft of this policy," he pointed out at their next meeting. He'd made the corrections in red pen so that Kise wouldn’t miss them.

"Oh," Kise blinked. He flipped through the document and his face fell further with each correction he found. "Give me a moment-- sorry."

Midorima watched as he pulled up the calculator app on his smartphone and struggled with the figures. He was wearing a cream dress shirt with a navy suit and it annoyed Midorima to note that it made him look like a movie star ready to waltz onto a red carpet at an international film festival, and not at all like the average working adult in the business district. He wasn't wearing a tie and his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar.

Midorima thought of his own lackluster, common black pressed suit and polka-dotted tie and cleared his throat.

"I'm very sorry about these miscalculations, Midorimachii," Kise said. He had obviously forgotten completely that Midorima had told him not to use that nickname. "Would you like me to draw up another copy for you? Or would you prefer if I came up with a different plan?"

Almost two months had passed since Midorima first contacted Teikou to enquire about their policies. He was quite tired of keeping up the charade.

"This will do," he said pointedly.

Kise's face lighted up. It was highly possible that he mistook Midorima's weariness for generosity.

**%%%%%**

It would be another two weeks before Kise churned out the relevant documents, but in the meantime he flooded Midorima's inbox with the amended copies of the final contract. Midorima considered blocking Kise's e-mail address.

Kise was fifteen minutes late to their next meeting. He arrived at the restaurant, looking slightly harried when he finally located Midorima, who had arrived earlier and picked a quiet booth in the corner.

"You're late," Midorima pointed out as Kise slid into the booth.

"I'm sorry, Midorimachii," Kise whinged. "I left my lucky item in the office, so I had to go back and get it! Have you heard of Oha Asa? Things haven’t been going so well lately, so I really need the extra luck."

He produced a pocket Japanese-English dictionary from his briefcase.

"I don't believe in that sort of thing. Superstition is for fools," scoffed Midorima. He conveniently forgot to mention that he was obsessed with Oha Asa in high school and bought all the daily lucky items until his father threatened to cut his allowance.

Midorima looked through the policy one final time and signed it after their orders were taken. Kise seemed to be in high spirits afterwards and devoured his tonkatsu set meal with gusto.

"You said that things weren't going too well," Midorima said. "What happened?"

Kise winced.

"Sales are kind of bad lately," he replied. He stirred his miso soup with his chopsticks, which had the effect of creating a tiny, powdery miso storm in his bowl. It was a prime example of bad table manners. "All of us are working extra hours just to hit our quotas. This is the third month in a row I'm behind. Even with my incredible persuasive skills! Can you believe it!"

What persuasive skills, thought Midorima.

"I don't know why I entered this line to begin with. Did I think it was easy or something? And there are so many words and so many numbers," Kise continued, looking pouty and petulant. "I'm going to get fired if I don't sell enough this month."

Midorima said nothing. Kise stared at him.

"Midorimachii," he asked tentatively, eyes bright, "do you have any other friends or family members who need quality assurance at this critical juncture in their lives?"

The earring dangling from his left ear swung slightly as he leaned forward, and his perfectly symmetrical face loomed closer to Midorima's.

**$$$$$**

"Don't wanna," said Midorima's sister curtly. She was in her last year of high school and was clearly going through a rebellious phase. "You're gonna make me pay you back or something. I don't wanna spend so much money on lame stuff like that."

Midorima tried to be patient. He doted on her a lot and wanted the best for her.

"I don't want or need you to pay me back," he told her. "I'm buying this for you so that when you graduate from college, you can get a lump sum of money that you can spend as you transit into working life, and it will also be less burdensome on Father and Mother."

"Who told you I was going to college," she snapped.

"Eat more, Shintarou," his mother said during dinner. "You hardly come back home to eat, and I cooked all your favorite dishes."

Midorima wasn't eating much because he'd lost his appetite, and also because he didn't know how to break the news to his parents that his sister was not planning to further her studies. He could not bear to do so when his parents were so happy that he finally came back to eat a meal at home after three long months.

He tried to change the topic.

"Mother," he began, "I'm planning to buy you a post-retirement benefit insurance plan. I know both you and Father have already saved up for retirement, but having a bit more money lying around won't hurt."

"Save the money for yourself," his father smiled. "You'll have to get married someday. Your mother and I can afford to take care of our own affairs."

His sister rolled her eyes and stabbed at her grilled salmon.

"Why do you keep talking about insurance?" she said. "You sound like a retiree yourself."

On Monday Midorima ate lunch with his good friend Akashi. Akashi’s father owned Akashi Group, which owned Shutoku Holdings, which was where Midorima worked. They went to middle school and high school together, so they’d known each other for more than a decade.

Akashi was very rich. He had money stacked up to his neck. It was practically pointless to tell him to buy insurance.

"I recently invested with Teikou Life Insurance," Midorima said, broaching the topic. "It's a new instrument they've only just come up with."

Akashi nodded, twirling up a forkful of fettuccine. "Teikou is a very reputable company. I think it’s safe to put your money with them, even if the product is unconventional."

"My agent did tell me that they're having some trouble selling it to less adventurous customers because a lot of them don't like the investment aspect of it. I thought I'd get your opinion. It is a rather interesting product, for an offering by a traditional insurer."

Akashi chewed on his pasta, then gave Midorima a smug, knowing smile that signaled the forthcoming of a comment that Midorima knew would surely irritate him.

"Midorima," he said, "my grand-uncle Kozou owns a 7.5% stake in Teikou. When I turned ten he gifted me with five different Teikou policies that will mature at several different stages in my life. The total payout amounts to some 1.8 billion yen over forty years. This is on top of the insurance policies that my parents and I have purchased through my family broker. I do not think I need any further insuring. But I could ask my acquaintances if they need it."

**%%%%%**

"Thank you sooo muuuch, Midorimachii," Kise exclaimed. He looked close to tears.

Midorima replaced the cap on his fountain pen and put it back in the breast pocket of his suit. Kise sniffled a bit and stuffed the policies into two separate manila envelopes.

"It's nothing much. I needed to bear more responsibility for the financial security of my family," Midorima explained, not knowing why he needed to explain himself.

Kise wanted to buy him a drink to show his gratitude. He dragged Midorima to a bar that he said was owned by a good friend and he wouldn't let Midorima say no.

"Oh…if it isn't Kisechin~" drawled the bartender in a high, nasally voice when they entered the premises. "And Kisechin has company~"

"Midorimachii likes whiskey. Don't you, Midorimachii?" Kise piped up, putting his briefcase on one of the seats at the bar. "Only your best, Murasakichii! I'll have the same. Get Midorimachii anything he wants and put it on my tab."

"You really don't have to," Midorima said. He was now feeling quite obliged. "It's just insurance. Everyone buys insurance."

"Yeah, but you probably helped me keep my job for one more month," Kise replied. He grinned at Midorima. It was reminiscent of maple syrup being poured over freshly cooked pancakes.

Midorima just had the one glass of whiskey, but Kise sped through three more cocktails, each one of them different.

They talked for a while and Kise somehow managed to worm his entire life history out of him, from the district where he was born and where he went to elementary school, to the name of his favorite author and whether he played any sports, if he knew how to play any instruments.

Then they talked about why they were working where they were now, and Kise mentioned that one of his older sisters actually tried to get him signed to a modeling agency many years ago.

"I didn't really want to be a model or an actor," he said, resting his head on the counter. He looked upset. "But I wasn't good at doing anything else either."

"So you didn't end up being one? Even to experience how it was like?"

"I didn't," Kise smiled. It didn't seem to be a smile that came from the core of his being and was slightly painful to look at. "Maybe this sounds bad, but I didn't want people to keep talking like my face was the only thing getting me anywhere. I wanted to make it with my own effort."

"You shouldn't care so much about what other people say. With that foolish attitude, you'll never truly accomplish anything."

Kise's gaze on his face lingered for a second longer. Then he said, "It is a bit foolish, isn't it? You're so smart, Midorimachii."

Midorima looked away and stared at the ice cubes in his glass. "Hardly. I might be wise, but you'll find that there are many out there who are wiser."

"Let's not talk about that anymore. Is Midorimachii seeing anyone?"

"No," said Midorima. He had no time for dating.

"Me neither," Kise replied sadly. He turned his head now and rested his chin on the tabletop. Midorima was surprised. He thought that somebody like Kise would have suitors lining up around an entire office block. What Kise said next caught him off guard, however.

"I miss Kurokochii," Kise whimpered. "But that was such a long time ago. I hope Kurokochii is living well."

So he was hung up over an ex. Midorima wondered what kind of person this "Kurokochii" was. He imagined "Kurokochii" to be as beautiful as Kise was. He imagined them to have an equally cheerful exterior and an equally bubbly personality. It only seemed right that Kise liked somebody like that.

Midorima thought of Takao and how he was now living in the Netherlands with his fiancee. Maybe they were already married. The last time Midorima had seen him was when they graduated from university, and that was a whole four years ago.

"I knew someone who used to give me a stupid nickname, just like you," Midorima revealed. Normally he would not have shared this but he figured, why not. If he could cheer Kise up. "They used to call me Shin-chan."

"Just like Crayon Shin-chan," Kise laughed.

Midorima nodded.

"Just like Crayon Shin-chan," he said.

"You really seem to hate them, but I think cute nicknames suit you, Midorimachii," Kise said. He smiled again now, this one like a warm, pleasant cup of tea on a cold day, and his eyes curled up into crescents. His face was flushed from the alcohol and Midorima wanted to run a thumb over a cheek to see if the pink color would rub off, just like the rouge his mother used when she was younger. "You seem so cold and mean on the outside, but secretly you're a very nice person, aren’t you? It turns out to be the opposite so often. So I'm really glad I met you, Midorimachii."

Midorima's heart leapt. Then it started to beat wildly, like the heavy drums in those rock songs his little sister liked to listen to. It beat so loud he was sure everyone in the place could hear it.

"Nonsense," he said.

They shared a cab home. Kise fell asleep next to Midorima in the backseat. When they reached Kise's place, he thanked Midorima profusely again and stuffed a 2000-yen note into Midorima's hands. Then he stumbled out onto the road and turned back and waved, his head full of blonde hair glowing like a halo in the dark.

When Midorima got home, to the tiny apartment where he'd been living alone for the last seven years, he sat on the couch in the living room for a very long time. It felt like it was burning where the left sleeve of his suit had come into contact with Kise’s shoulder.

**$$$$$**

It wasn't until a few weeks later that Midorima heard from Teikou again. He received a call from a number that bore the same area code one morning, as he was putting up the finishing touches on a report.

"Good morning," he said, picking up the call.

"Good morning…very much," said the person on the other end of the line. "Is this, um, Sir Midorima Shintarou?"

"Speaking," Midorima said. Sir?

"Hi…uh, I mean, good day," the voice continued. "My name is Kagami Taiga. I'm your new-- oops-- I'm calling from Teikou Life Insurance, and I'm your new agent. Would you like to meet me to review how your policies are doing?"

"New agent? I believe I have already been appointed an agent who is in charge of my file. Has there been a mistake?"

"Oh, uh," said Kagami, "your old agent was Kise, right? He quit last week."

Kagami was almost Aomine levels of stupid, but at least he wasn't rude. For some reason he was very bad at Japanese.

Now that Midorima thought about it, none of the agents he'd met were particularly bright. There was obviously something very wrong with the hiring process at Teikou. Maybe he needed to take out insurance to insure against any losses caused by the stupidity of their staff.

Midorima never heard from Kise again. Time passed by just like it always did. It only made sense. Kise was an insurance agent and Midorima was his client. Once Kise's status as an insurance agent ceased to be, so did their professional relationship.

He was surprised, therefore, to receive an e-mail from Kise months later. Kise asked Midorima how he was doing and he said he wanted to see Midorima. The message was short and sweet. Midorima thought that Kise had long forgotten about him, so it was a complete jolt out of the blue.

"What's the matter?" Akashi asked at lunch that day. "You look jubilant."

"No such thing," Midorima said, slicing his steak.

"We've known each other for fifteen years. You can't lie to me."

Midorima said nothing.

**%%%%%**

Midorima spent half an hour trying to pick out his outfit for the rendezvous, until he realized that none of his clothes were fashionable. He settled for one of his usual white work shirts and his best pair of trousers, topped off with his favorite belt.

Belatedly he realized, only when he stepped out his door on Sunday morning, that maybe Kise wanted to see him to reprimand him for being a demanding and needy customer. Maybe Kise had quit because he was fed up with Midorima and now he wanted to let Midorima know how much he suffered working with him.

No, that was not possible. Kise didn't seem the type to call people out just to tell them off. Kise seemed nice.

The meeting place was one of those quaint yuppie eateries that served all-day breakfast. Kise shouted, "Midorimachii! Over here!" as soon as he set foot in the place. The place was packed so people stared. Midorima felt self-conscious as he waded through the crowd.

"It's been a while," Midorima said as he sat down at the table. Nearly four whole months, to be precise.

Kise looked good. No, he looked fantastic, and a lot healthier and happier than the last time Midorima saw him. He'd gotten a haircut and it took years off his face. Now Midorima just felt like an unfashionable uncle or older cousin seated with their cooler, hipper, younger relative, even though they were the same age.

"Midorimachi, it's so good to see you again," Kise smiled. Midorima felt dazzled and absentmindedly told the waiter, who was walking around with two jugs of hot coffee and tea, that he preferred the coffee.

The waiter took his order while Kise rattled on.

"I'm so sorry I disappeared without a word, Midorimachii!" he said. He appeared regretful. "I intended to contact you after I quit my job at Teikou, but things piled up one after another and I couldn't find the time to ask you out for a meal. Ah! Before I forget. Aominechii-- do you remember Aominechii?"

"Are you talking about Aomine Daiki, whom, as I recall, worked in the same place as you did? I would not like to, but unfortunately I do."

Kise cringed at his reply. He said, "Well, you might be surprised, but you really made a huge difference in Aominechii's life! He quit after you, er, called to give feedback about him-- though he didn't tell me what that was all about-- and said that he'd been fed up with office life for a long time anyway. Now he's setting up his own fishing supplies store and he says that he's never been happier! And it's all thanks to you!"

"Really," Midorima replied sourly. That did not sound like a compliment.

"And, well," Kise continued, "you've really made a huge difference in my life too."

Midorima almost choked on his coffee.

"It's true, Midorimachii, don't laugh!" Kise said. He looked earnestly at Midorima, amber eyes glowing with warmth, and his gaze was so piercing that Midorima had to look away momentarily. He reached over and held Midorima’s hand in his own. "I got so used to entertaining nasty clients over the last few years, and then you came along. The way you've treated me over these past few months really gave me hope that not all people were bad deep inside. You're really an angel, Midorimachii!"

Midorima coughed. He could feel his whole body turning hot, as if he was sitting in a steaming bath.

"Well, what are you doing now, anyway?" he asked, trying to steer the topic away from himself. He didn't think he could stand being the subject of Kise’s continued affection. He'd get a heart attack.

"I'm actually working as a waiter in a restaurant, kind of like this one," Kise said. He hadn't let go of Midorima's hand and Midorima was worried that his own palm might start getting sweaty. "My boss told me to wait on customers and promote the place instead of working in the kitchen, because he said I could help attract more female customers. I wanted to refuse at first, but I remembered what you said at the bar, Midorimachii. So I accepted, and business became really good, and I got a pay rise! One day when I've saved up enough money, I want to set up my own shop, too."

Kise paused and stared at Midorima closely. Midorima felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. Then Kise took a deep breath, and told Midorima the most preposterous thing he'd heard in a while.

"Midorimachii, I've been able to start a new life because of you. I think I really like you. Will you go out with me?"

For a few seconds it was as if the world did not exist to Midorima as he tried to compute the full meaning of this sentence. Kise still hadn't let go of his hand. It now felt like Kise had put it in a broiler under high heat instead.

"W-what about Kurokochii?" he asked when he finally regained his composure. "Aren't you still thinking of them?"

"Kurokochii? How did you know about them?"

"You talked about them when we were at the bar," Midorima said. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have brought them up. It must have brought back bad memories."

"Midorimachii," Kise said slowly, as if something suddenly dawned on him, "Kurokochii was my family’s pet Siberian husky. My older sister moved to the States years ago and took it with her. That's why I miss it a lot."

"Oh," Midorima said. He was dying of embarrassment.

"So is that a yes?" Kise asked. His eyes were sparkling and he was wearing a beautiful, brilliant smile. It was an unbeatable deal sealer.


End file.
